“And we’ll never be rooooyals, ROYALS~” Dave sang to himself as he hopped out of the train, fixing the bottom edge of his sweater vest. He will never not hate these uniforms, ugh. Whatever, time to round up some first years.

Darkness had now taken over outside, so Dave pulled out his wand, etching ‘GET AT YOUR PREFECT #PERFECT’ into the air. Once finished writing, the glowing letters floated and formed above his head. With a flick of his wand, they started sparkling a bit, a light pink font that looked quite similar to Comic Sans. But, it probably wasn’t Comic Sans. Why would Dave ever do that.

Around fifteen minutes had gone by. After letting students gather their things and make the usual awkward I’m-a-first-year-and-don’t-know-what-the-fuck-I’m-doing shuffle over to their prefect, Dave dismissed his flashy sign over his head. The letters quickly formed and broke apart, now resembling cherry blossom petals fluttering over the group of students’ heads. Seriously he is on a roll, where are all his otaku brothers at to appreciate this shit, sheesh.

“Alright little Merlins in training, welcome to Hogwarts, school of witchcraft and wizardry and all that mystical jazz. If you get sorted into Gryffindor, you will have the upmost pleasure of seeing me more often.” Before Dave could go on, he was cut off by a student.
“Uh.. And who are you? And are there any other prefects?” A short, small boy had asked, eyebrow raised and all. Dave looked down at him and raised an eyebrow as well, not expecting the sass this soon. But he can roll with that. The tall blond rested his elbow on the shoulder of the short brunet boy and continued, “Why since you’re just so eager to get into my past’s pants, I’ll fulfill your fantasies. I am Dave Strider: Hogwart’s wunderkind of a quidditch keeper and DADA savant. I’m a Sagittarius, I like long walks on the beach, and the feeling of the wind on my soft, supple skin.” He had said this last part while turning his head and leaning it closer toward the sassy student, “And what name does your person go by?”
The boy looked slightly flustered, but mostly irked. With crossed arms, he avoided eye contact and muttered angrily, “Jeffery.”
Dave removed his elbow from Jeffery’s shoulder. “Jeff, you don’t say? That’s pretty hella. Rolls off the tongue well, you know? But name games can be played later after the hat goes all gold minor on you guys and sifts you into your houses. Make sure to be screamin’ eureka. Anyways, follow me this way and we’re off. C’mon Jeffy, keep up.” He was feeling especially talkative and enthusiastic tonight- Well, as enthusiastic as his apathetic face would take him- likely from the amount of time spent on the train. He’s just glad he’s not sticky with honey and reeking like John’s jackass bombs anymore.

They reached dozens of small wooden boats, and Dave climbed into the center one. “Alright after we head toward shore in this mass fleet like some Nordic bros aiming to invade Anglo-Saxon territory, I’ll lead you over to the Great Hall. Make sure to keep up now, Viking pillaging doesn’t wait for anyone. All clear? Everyone into a boat, time to roll out.” He had sat down in his own, watching as a small group of students climbed in after him. “Or maybe like, /row/ out…” He shrugged to himself, and scanned the area to make sure that no man got left behind. When it looked all clear, each boat started moving, with Dave’s at the head of the triangular armada.
“So.. Anyone catch the new episode of Free! Eternal Summer? …….No? Didn’t think so.”

Other than his question, it was a quiet ride across the lake. Dave had considered singing My Heart Will Go On to pass the time and set the mood, but he decided against it. These philistines probably wouldn’t know shit about the Titantic anyway, let alone good irony when they hear it being serenaded to them.
After arriving and piling out of the boats, Dave led them inside, into one of Hogwart’s many large hallways. “Kay so check it, after the sorting happens and you guys get your grub on, I’ll take all the Gryffindudes and dettes back to the dorms. The Slytherins, Ravenclaws, and Puffles will go off with their own prefects. Sound good? Any questions?” Jeffery had raised his hand.
“Sup, Jeff?” Dave was wondering when this kid would speak again. Jeffery’s brow twitched a bit before he spoke, “It’s Jeffery. And why are you wearing sunglasses at night and inside? Seems nonsensical, wouldn’t you think? Or is looking like a rejected muggle police officer your goal?” Oh-ho. Shots fired.
Some snickers could be heard, especially from the group of kids surrounding Jeffery. Dave stood there for a moment, staring at him, before taking a slow step forward and looking down at the kid that he towered over. He pulled his shades up so they sat on his head, revealing his red eyes to the large group of first years. He could hear a few gasps and whispers, but he didn’t mind. The shocked look on Jeffery’s face was enough for him to enjoy this moment regardless.
“I don’t know, you tell me why.” Dave leaned down a bit, sliding his shades back down to their right place. “And bitch, I am the law. Please.” He took a step back, waving his hand forward to indicate for the first years to follow, and starting walking down the hall.
“Seriously,” Dave had said to another small student next to him, “I came out to have a good time and I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now.” He shook his head and turned the corner.

The group had shortly arrived at the Great Hall, now talking nervously amongst themselves. Dave stood at the entrance, eyeing the rest of the students already present in the room before turning back around and facing his own group. “Your time to shine, guys. And remember, all houses kick ass. But there’s no ‘I’ in team. Though there is an ‘I’ in Slytherin and Gryffindor. You can also make ‘dying’ out of Gryffindor… Huh. Uncanny. But what I’m trying to say is that no house is better than the other, we are doused in equality up in here. So whether you’re a bitchin’ lady, a bitchin’ gentleman, or a literally-bitching estrogen-saturated gentleman,” Dave peered over at Jeffery when he said this, “Then you are slayin’ Hogwarts life either way. Alright? Go make senpai proud, yo.”
One student chuckled and covered her mouth. “Thanks for noticing me senpai, I’ll make you proud.” Dave had given her a fistbump for getting the reference and just not being a pain in his ass in general, then watched the students pass through the doors with a small pride. Jeffery was one of the last students to pass through the doors and grumbled by, followed by his group of previously-snickering friends. Dave stepped in front of them, standing tall and putting his hands on his hips. “Am I gonna be expecting trouble from you guys this year?” The group looked at each other, then back to him, shaking their heads. One looked particularly nervous, staring at Dave with wide eyes. The tall blond bent down a bit, staring back at the frightened boy through dark shades, and speaking in a low and serious tone, “…are you sure?”

The kid sucked in his cheeks and bit, nodding quickly. Dave stood up straight again, moving to the side of the entrance and out of their way. “Good,” he placed a hand on the traumatized kid’s shoulder and gave it a few pats, “That’s what I like to hear. Stay in school, son.”
When each student was finally in the hall, lined up along the middle of the room and waiting for the Sorting Hat and school staff to make announcements, Dave walked in and scanned the Gryffindor table looking for John, Karkat, Dirk, or anyone. It was pretty difficult to see anything through this mass of students though, even if they were tiny. Dave began humming to himself while he stood there and waited, keeping up his rep of being the human soundtrack for in-the-moment situations, even if no one was around to hear.
“Nearrr, farrrrr, whereveeeeeeever you areeeee…”

Freyir strides in a few moments after Astris does and immediately eyes the table of professors already seated. He notes Selena and steers clear of her, but also notes the pretty little lady seated next to her. Oh? Was that the new professor? What was her name? He tries to remember on his way over to sit himself by Astris. The fact that Astris continues to sit right next to that giant oaf, Azazel, amazes him each and every time. He hates it yet continues to sit next to the two each time. Why? Probably because Astris has a fine ass and an even finer face…or maybe because Freyir is a little wrapped around Astris’ finger. Not his fault at all though. Freyir pushes a hand through his hair, making sure that he’s not too ruffled looking from earlier, before pressing a small kiss to the back of Astris’ neck then he finally sits down.

The name pops into his head as he hears Azazel ask who the new professor is. “Ah, that’s Miss Lejion, I believe. I think her first name’s Makaden er somethin’ like that.” He pauses a moment to give Azazel a confused look though the huge idiot’s too busy staring at Makeda to notice. “Ye don’t know her? I thought you knew about everyone a the professors here.” He takes a moment to take pride in the fact that hell yes he knows more about the new professor than Kabnel’s walking talking pet does and that just feels so fucking good. He leans over the table a bit to eye Makeda himself, she was very pretty, and very young it seemed. Interesting. He sits back and speaks up again because he really just doesn't know when to shut up. “Why? Are ya takin’ an interest in her? That’s a surprise.”

    D isn't one to not make some sort of grand entrance at the start of the school year, but this year he decides to just do shit normally. Ok yeah that is total bullshit. He's the damn charms professor, of course he's going to show off a little to the students. Be all up and showing them how kick ass he can make them. Might as well waltz in with a giant Vegas sign sayin' 'Respect this dude, he's fucking rad' over his head. Nah, that wouldn't be ironic enough. He's gotta think of some bitchin' attention grabbing spell for his entrance.

    He ends up just going in normally. So he might have been too lazy to do anything, but he wouldn't admit that. He strides into the hall, his robe flowing behind him, a new suit he got over the summer practically glistening underneath said robe. He can almost feel some of the girls swooning. He wouldn't lie, as cool as it is to have girls fawn over you, the fact that a majority of those girls are 11 to 17 year olds is pretty weird. Then again, who could blame them? They're just poor victims of the Strider charms. He smirks a little as he makes his way to the High Table, taking a seat next to Selena and a woman that must be the new Arts teacher. D has been wanting to meet her, being a bit of an artist himself (though he's better with the performing ones).

    He nods and smiles at the two women, fixing the way his shades sit on his face. D's eyes are extremely sensitive, more so after an accident during a Quidditch match (he used to play it professionally and had to have been one of the best seekers the team had had in his opinion) which blinded him in one eye. That eye which used to be a sweet-as-fuck garnet color is now paled and dead looking, which gives D all the more reason to wear his shades to hide his eyes. "Ladies, how are you two doing? I hope you enjoyed your summers. How are the girls, Selena? By the way, you should probably find better books to read. Lockhart is the biggest piece of shit to read. Also, you're the new Art teacher Makeda, right? Nice to meet you. I'm D Strider, Charms professor extraordinaire." He offers a hand, making sure his head is turned so that he can actually see her. Young and beautiful, though the latter describes most of the female teachers here one way or another.

    He also looks over to see Dave leading the first years. He still wonders how the kid became a prefect, but he's proud of him. His gaze then goes to Aza'zel, who seemed to be eyeing Makeda. Uh oh. She better watch out.The Big Bad Groundskeeper would eat her alive, and he hopes that isn't literally. He and Aza'zel don't exactly have the best relationship. D's certain the Groundskeeper hates him, and though D doesn't return the hate, he sure as hell doesn't like the guy. D is sorta all for keeping the little shits safe, whereas that guy doesn't seem to give a fuck. Basically, the two are like water and oil. They just don't mix. D doesn't avoid the guy, but he sure as hell wouldn't talk to him without reason. Usually. Sometimes it's just entertaining to see what the dude has to say. He shrugs to himself and returns his attention to the girls, putting on his regular charismatic smile, glancing to the students now and then for Hal. He has something for the little dude that he thinks will help him a lot.

    

Though Freyir's absence is on his mind, Astris isn't nearly oblivious to not note the goings on further down the table; the conversation between the two professors who act almost as if they are accomplices in crime, the new teacher conversing with some of her now colleagues, Aza'zel's nearly frightening lack of threatening attention to those around him. 
He glances away from Aza'zel as Freyir walks up to the table and moves to take his usual seat on Astris' other side, but not without a bit of subtle affection, mouthing a "Finally!" at him before he sits. ( He reaches for Freyir's hand under the long table as soon as it's not conspicuous to do so. They're not exactly hiding, mind you, just wanting to not draw attention to themselves.) He then goes back to giving Pierre his usual headpets, smiling and scratching behind the little goat's ears and turning back to his other side. "Makeda. She will be teaching some sort of art I believe. She certainly looks more...ah, fresh than most of us here. Looks can be deceiving, though." Astris nods, almost as if to himself, continuing with spoiling the tiny hoofed creature on the table in front of him, books ignored for now in favor of squeezing Freyir's hand.

During the train ride Eridan had eventually made his way away from Lil Cal and thank god too because that was just not a thing that he could handle for very long. The kid was weird and creepy though luckily Eridan had become quite creative in how to escape the strange creature known as Cal. It was hard to do sometimes and escaping on the train had been quite a difficult thing but he’d managed it so whatever. Unluckily of him he’d managed to escape into his brother’s cart and well, things had been quite a bit awkward for the rest of the ride. They’d hardly talked and it had been really uncomfortable but really Eridan hadn’t wanted to risk going out and being spotted by Lil Cal again so he sat and endured the awkward atmosphere for the whole train ride. The moment the train had stopped though he’d bolted to retrieve his trunk from the cart he’d originally come from.

As Eridan rounds up a group of first years and leads them onto boats he wonders when things got so awkward between him and Cronus. Had it always been that way? Not when they were children, certainly not! Eridan at the moment was probably the worst prefect. He was lost in his thoughts trying to pinpoint when in his life things had he and his brother become such strangers. It puzzled him to such an extent that he hadn’t noticed when the boat had reached the other shore. Eridan hurried the first years along then sort of mushed them in with Dave’s group before hurrying off to his table. He had too many thoughts to be worried about a bunch of hormonal pre-teens and them being confused at a new school. Whatever, they’d figure it out, it wasn’t hard.


Eridan sits himself down at his table, Cliodne hissing at the rushed movements and fluffs up her feathers irritatedly before settling down and even hopping down to the table. Eridan tosses his scarf into a pile on the table and Clio immediately fixes it into her usual nest to get comfortable in. He casually(not very casually) glances around to look for Cro. He was certainly at the Gryffindor’s table already and it wasn’t hard to spot him. Eridan stares for a bit, before a noise from Clio gets his attention again and his eyes dart back down to the bird. He pets her feathers down as he thinks.

Jade looked up from her book, glad to see a face she recognized sit across from her at the table. Eridan and her didn't talk very often even though they were in the same house. They had a different circle of friends but Jade was doing her best to expand hers, so she needed to think of ways to break the ice. She was determined to make sure Fifth year was going to be different. She looked at the crested owl (What was it's name again? She couldn't keep track of all these owls.) One of the things she did like about the wizarding world was that they had a variety of animals to pal around with and they were less troublesome (sometimes) because they had jobs. Animals with occupations tended to have better moods. 

She smiled at the crested owl currently nesting in Eridan's scarf. "Looks like someone's making herself at home. That's so cute." She looked at Eridan. "How was the trip on the express? Did you avoid your abhorrent admirer?" 

She meant Cal of course. Everyone in the house knew that Cal had an....unusual obsession with Striders and Amporas. Well, not anymore unusual than Cal in general. Jade personally hated Cal after a particular incident in first year. She was glad they weren't in the same house because that meant putting up with Cal a lot more than necessary.